|
Be prepared to not understand...
Somedays I understand myself and some days I dont understand anything....
I make sense
only half the time...
you can decide when that is.
From the cracks of my broken heart- Welcome To My Life.
 I started workin at Exxon in January... me and Keith
officially broke up at the end of January... and in March I met Tommy. He started comin in the store often... and he caught
my eye for some reason... there was somethin about him that seemed so familiar and I had never even met him. Guys come in
the store all the time and they flirt and I just wish to myself that they would just go on and leave me alone... but for some
reason I wanted him to show some interest in me...
.t.h.e.n..o.n.e..d.a.y.
I was outside smokin a cigarette at work
and he walked out and was like hey... I waved and that was it... I mean we never talked... so there wasnt anything else to
be expected... until he got back out of the truck and walked over to me and asked me for my number... I didnt hesitate to
give it to him... and im not even sure why....
and thats where the newest story begins.....
  The calls were frequent... mostly at night... we talked
all the time... not for like hours at a time or anything... becaues we didnt know each other that well so we didnt have much
to talk about... just a daily thing to TRY to get to know each other better... well... after a while of dealin with short
phone calls... he asked if i wanted to ride to beaumont with him and a friend... so I did... and that night I had to be home
by midnight... so he left early to bring me home and before we got in the car he gave me a kiss.... for something that might
have been so wrong...
.it..seemed..so..right.
 After that he became my addiction...
He is 24 years old... he got out of jail about a week before I
met him... he has a kid that his ex wont let him see... and he is the most paranoid person youll ever meet... but...
i.f.e.l.l.i.n.l.o.v.e
how? i have no idea... why? i really dont know... when?
too quicky... everything was great between us... we made a cute couple and I was happy again... for the first week or so...
then... I started bein acused of sleepin with his friend... of likin his friends... of all kinds of stuff... turns out...
he wasnt only paranoid about the feds but also paranoid about relationships... he constantly thought I was cheatin on him...
and im not even the cheatin kind... so I tried so hard to make him listen to me... i tried to tell him that i loved him...
and he blieved me and told me the same thing... for a while... then every other day i was acused to cheatin on him or tryin
tocheat on him... or just runnin game on him... i was and still am so confused about that because i do love him... and im
not the cheatin kind!
 Be battled it out for about a month... and last night
was the end of it... he told me that we should just be friends with benefits... and I hate that... because I am probably he
only person around here that wouldnt fuck him over... and I am the only person that was acused of it. I want to be with him
so bad... and if its not him then its nobody... I hurt so bad... trying to figure out why I cant be happy... why keith had
to ruin me and then when someone comes along that i deserve to be happy with and that deserves to be happy with... i am acused
to all kinds of shit... that would never be true! ....
I dont understand.
|
